Power of relationships… and fashion for west Oxfordshire foster carers (Foster Care Fortnight, 12 - 25 May 2025)

“The shoes, the make-up, I wasn’t expecting that as a foster dad,” said Chris, giving his wife a wry smile.  

She isn’t complaining. Their teenage foster daughter shares her love of clothes and together they are regulars in many of Oxfordshire’s fashion boutiques.

“Fostering is all about adapting, bonding and the power of relationships, the shopping connection was an unexpected bonus,” says Chris’ wife Tabs.

The west Oxfordshire couple welcomed their foster daughter, through Oxfordshire County Council’s fostering scheme, around a year ago.

She had experienced some short-term fostering placements because of her commitment to stay in school and close to friends, and the challenge of finding the right long-term family setting to meet those geographical needs.

Chris said: “We stepped forward, initially as another short team option, however, we quickly bonded and on much more than female fashion.

“In the end it was an easy decision to turn a few weeks into a long-term commitment, giving our foster daughter the family stability she needed, and on her terms, close to friends and the school she loves. She is now the princess of our family.”

Chris and Tabs have an autistic teenage son who often needs his own space and can become closed off emotionally, however, his confidence has been transformed by the new family member.

Tabs said: “Our foster daughter is a natural in putting others at their ease and our son quickly warmed to her and became much more responsive; it’s heartwarming watching them interact and seeing his confidence grow.”

With so much positive energy generated from the initial fostering experience, Chris and Tabs decided they would take it a step further, around two months ago they agreed to foster a baby.

“It’s added perfectly to the family dynamic, bringing out the caring side in us all,” says Chris.

“Our foster daughter helps us with feeding, putting the baby to bed, holding him. Our son is fascinated, the baby’s made him inquisitive and he wants to ask questions, it’s another way to build his self-esteem as he observes and interacts with our newest and youngest family member.”

Chris likens the relationships associated with fostering to a “spider’s web.”

“It’s a brilliant support network, from Oxfordshire County Council’s social workers who always respond promptly to our questions and offer training and guidance, to the other fostering families they’ve connected us with, who we meet for coffee and chats to learn from their experiences and to share ours.

“Most importantly, this amazing spider’s web is about giving the foster children stability, opportunities to be themselves, to grow, develop and explore the interests that are important to them.

“It doesn’t matter that fashion’s not my thing, because our foster daughter has found a soul mate in my wife and just watching them share that love of clothes is special.

“Seeing the joy it brings to our foster daughter makes me feel incredibly proud of our family and how much of a right decision it was to become foster carers.

“I never knew two people could talk for so long or in so much detail about artificial eyelashes, but there we go!”

Jean Kelly, Oxfordshire County Council’s Deputy Director of Children’s Social Care, said: “Our service is not for profit, and we are committed to keeping children and young people near to their birth families, friends and schools. Our aim is for children to have more stability by placing them locally with our own foster carers.

“We cannot do that unless we can recruit more caring people like Chris and Tabs."

Oxfordshire County Council’s foster carers receive:

• Generous fees, paid in addition to the child’s allowance, based on experience and skills.
• Dedicated social worker support.
• Access to professionals involved with the child/children, linked with support groups and specialised training.

During Foster Care Fortnight, Oxfordshire County Council’s foster care team will be hosting in-person events to promote fostering.

The events don’t need to be pre-booked; people can arrive at a time of their choosing to find out more about what is involved in becoming a foster carer, the different types of fostering, help and training on offer, and financial support available. 

The events will take place in:

Banbury: Wednesday 14 May 2025, from 11am to 2pm, at Banbury Library, Marlborough Road, Banbury OX16 5DB

Didcot: Monday 19 May 2025, from 1pm to 4pm, at Didcot Library, 197 Broadway, Didcot OX11 8RU

Bicester: Thursday 22 May 2025, from 2pm to 5pm, at Bicester Library, Wesley Lane, Franklins House, Bicester OX26 6JU

Further information about becoming a foster carer is also available by visiting oxfordshire.gov.uk/fostering, emailing fostering@oxfordshire.gov.uk

or phoning 0800 783572.

Your Oxfordshire

Click Sign up to hear from us and receive the latest news and updates in our fortnightly newsletter, Your Oxfordshire.